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Today, I listened on a thought-provoking talk by Karl Aquino about victims, villains, and vigilantes in the context of soft crimes—where harm is inflicted on the soul rather than the body. His ideas resonated with my own experiences throughout my career. During my career I’ve met many people who have raised complaints about their work situations. One thing I’ve noticed is that people often assume that being the first to complain automatically casts them in the role of the victim or the rescuer, not the villain.

Karl Aquino also talked about the Karpman’s Drama Triangle, a model developed in 1968 that outlines how conflicts often unfold. According to Karpman, every conflict typically begins with someone stepping into the role of the victim, the one who suffers. Karl Aquino mentioned studies showing that being a victim is not good and has both psychological and social consequences.

In workplace conflicts, it’s common for the first person to step into the role of the victim, often without considering the full story. They assume that because they are the first to speak out, they must be the one who was wronged, and others are naturally cast as the villain or the rescuer. But in reality, conflicts are rarely this simple, and jumping to conclusions can lead to unfair judgments.

Last year, I attended a workshop led by Ståle Einarsen and Helge Hoel to learn a method called faktaundersøkelse. One of many takeaways from the workshop was this: Just because someone is the first to complain doesn’t mean they should have an advantage in the investigation over others involved in the case. They might simply be „the first one there,“ while others are delayed for reasons outside of their control—like being stuck at a red traffic light.

Remember, a complaint is just the beginning—it’s not evidence. It’s crucial to investigate thoroughly before making any judgments. Often, we instinctively believe the first person to raise an issue. For instance, if you overhear someone venting by the coffee machine at work, you might be inclined to take their side, assuming their version of events is accurate.

We need to remember that fairness means ensuring everyone has a voice—and that each voice is heard.

We must listen carefully to all sides, and recognize that the roles of victim, villain, and rescuer can shift based on perspective.

Fairness involves listening carefully, not jumping to conclusions, and remembering that delays don’t determine guilt. That other person might just be caught at a red traffic light.