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What Happens When Things Get Tough and You Lose Sight of the Tunnel?

Stress and burnout are topics that have become increasingly common in discussions about mental health and work-life balance. Years ago, when I started studying psychology, terms like „burnout“ weren’t as prevalent, but today they feel like an unavoidable part of our modern vocabulary.

I have noticed that some people experience burnout without a clear understanding of what’s causing it. They sometimes think it is just work-related but often, it’s not one specific issue, but a combination of factors—work pressures, personal challenges, and life’s constant demands. And when stress piles up, it can be difficult to recognize where it’s all coming from, let alone how to manage it.

One helpful analogy that I have often used, is the idea of a tunnel with a light at the end. When we’re under pressure, we might still see that light as a sign of hope, something to aim for. But sometimes, things get so overwhelming that it feels like the light at the end of the tunnel has disappeared or even the tunnel altogether, leaving us lost in the dark without a clear way forward.

This kind of situation often arises when stress builds up across multiple areas of life. When personal and professional pressures mount, we need our coping strategies to work. But if the coping strategies that normally work—like exercise, talking things out, or taking time to relax—may stop being effective for some reason, the stress becomes even more difficult to handle.

During such moments, it’s essential to recognize the signs of burnout and stress. Ignoring the issue or pushing through without addressing the root causes can make things worse. Instead, acknowledging the stress and reaching out for support can be crucial steps toward recovery. This might mean opening up to a trusted friend or partner, seeking help from a professional, or simply allowing oneself the space to rest and regroup.

But how can you tell if you or someone you know has „lost sight of the tunnel“? Are there signs to look out for?

It’s important to recognize behavioral changes in yourself or others. I remember noticing a few coworkers behaving in ways that were unlike their usual selves. In some cases, I asked, “Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?” In others, I didn’t say anything—and I wish I had. The thing is, very seldom people complain about being asked if they’re okay or being offered support. But people often express frustration when no one notices or reaches out.

I would assume that those who know each other well are typically quicker to spot signs of burnout. I’ve hesitated to address someone’s behavior because I didn’t feel I knew them well enough to intervene. Looking back, I should have asked someone who knew them better to check in. When someone starts behaving in ways that don’t reflect who they normally are, it’s a clear sign that they need someone to ask those simple but vital questions.

For example, when I find myself arguing with others, that’s a red flag. It’s not in my nature to pick fights (I have Harmony #1 in my Gallup Strengths Finder), so if I’m doing that, those who know me well should take it as a big warning sign. The same goes for anyone—when their behavior shifts in unexpected ways, it’s time to check in, offer support, and help them find their way back to the tunnel.

The lesson here is simple: don’t hesitate to ask if someone is okay. Reaching out can make all the difference when things get tough.